Description
Suddenly, I felt a need to shake things up inside myself-to find hearts that love me more, care more, and overlook my faults more and more until they forgive me for all my failures and shortcomings. So I decided to listen this time and embark on a journey of self-discovery because I am fighting a great battle with myself at this particular age so that I don't lose myself or the love of things, the joys, and the wonders of life that I rediscovered too late, after it was already too late. I learned not to say yes in a chaotic world full of contradictions that devours me, imposes its will on me, and forces me to laugh, cry, and accept what I cannot bear.
I decided to be brave, and despite the disappointments, I said "no" loudly and clearly in my fiercest battles to recover myself, even if it was too late and impossible-for my mother. To my paradise, to God, I wish I were the closest person to you and the furthest from everyone else. I am the last leech that hid in your womb, silent for an eternity about everything your heart loves and desires.
I sold my life for you, and I wanted to blossom in it with you by my side, applauding me, not against me. I am autumn; my knot has tormented me for years until your absence took everyone with it and left, and my tongue became unable to speak-only my trembling hands write what I feel. I miss you, my mother, even if you are not all my friends.
